A message to those committing adultery. Early in my marriage, when I was
not walking with the Lord, I was involved in several adulterous affairs. I
thank God daily for His love and mercy, and for His forgiveness. I thank God
daily for my wife and her commitment to our marriage, and unconditional love
that allowed her to forgive me. I confess this to you today so those who
read this will know that I understand this subject. Adultery is simply an
act of gross selfishness. There is NO excuse for it, no way to even try and
justify it. It is an act of total rebellion towards God. It is sin, and
trust me my friend, God cannot, and will not, bless sin. When you commit
this act, you are sinning against God, your spouse, yourself, and you are
contributing to the sin of the other person. There are NO winners in an
adulterous situation. EVERYONE LOSES. For whatever moments of pleasure
there are, you pay an incredibly high price. So why are so many involved in
this activity?
The reasons for committing adultery are endless. All of them added up
together still aren't justification for this blatant act of disobedience.
Do you realize the time and effort that it takes to be involved in an
adulterous relationship? If that same time and effort were put towards your
spouse, it would do wonders for your marriage. If you took all of the time
of planning it takes to be together with that other person, put forth the
same energy you do to please that other person, were as kind, considerate,
and affectionate as you are with that other person, with your spouse, do you realize how much better your marriage would be? Do you realize that when
you are involved in an adulterous relationship, how much communication there
is with the other person? If you put even half of that communication in
your marriage, it would be dramatically better.
Here is reality my friend. There is no future with a person you are
involved with in an adulterous relationship. It will never work out, if for
no other reason, God is never going to bless such a union. Whatever
problems exist in your marriage that even cause you to consider committing
adultery, they are fixable with the effort of both spouses and God's involvement.
For whatever reason there may have been, you chose to commit to marry that
person, now you need to make it work. For those who are yet not married,
maybe now you can see why it is SO IMPORTANT to not rush into marriage, to
stay pure so you aren't forced into marriage, and to be equally yoked so there
is spiritual harmony and communication in a marriage. Most problems stem
from the marriage starting on a bad foundation. Marriage is SERIOUS.
However, if you find yourself in a marriage that was started on a bad
foundation, Jesus Christ will help you rebuild that foundation on the Word
of God. But you have to be willing to put forth the effort. Trust me, you
may think things will be better in a new relationship, but ultimately, after
a period of time, there will be problems. So don't compound them by
fighting against God. That is a battle you will lose every time.
I love you and care about you so much. I know many of you are hurting. For
those spouses who are in pain today because your spouse has cheated on you,
let me encourage you. You are NOT responsible for his/her actions. Your
spouse has the same free will you have. Your most effective weapon is to
pray for them and commit them to God, since only He can change their heart.
My wife learned how to really trust God 100% during that period in our life
many years ago. It will help you to make your faith real. The Lord will
help you overcome the pain and hurt, and actually be able to forgive your
spouse and move forward in your relationship. For those who are currently
involved in an adulterous relationship, let me challenge you. STOP TODAY.
I know that it will be difficult, but it is the first step to getting your
relationship with God back, and your life back. Anyone who is honest knows
that life becomes almost not worth living under those conditions. God will
always help you when you are trying to follow His way. Whatever problems
exist in your marriage, adultery is not the answer. Honest open
communication with your spouse, allowing God to be an active part of your
life, working at the commitment you made to your husband/wife....this is
what it is going to take to make your marriage all that God wants it to be.
Because of the sensitive nature of this issue, know that I will be spending
time in prayer for those of you who are dealing with this issue in your life,
both those who are committing adultery and those who have a spouse cheating
on them. My prayer is that you will find that intimate personal
relationship with the Lord you need to overcome the circumstances you are
facing in your life. No matter how hopeless things may look, there is
ALWAYS hope in Christ. Get right with God, then get right with your spouse.
It is the only answer, and God will help you when you follow His Word.
